Parenting Resolutions for 2009...

It's the time of year for wiping the slate clean, starting fresh, turning over a new leaf ... pick your cliche, the bottom line is that we're all making resolutions to do better and be better. So I'm taking a minute to think about what parenting resolutions I'm making for 2009? Parents.com has a list of “50 Ways to Be a Fantastic Parent.” Any one of them would make great resolutions. Here are my 10 for 2009...

1. Don't clip your child's wings. Your toddler's mission in life is to gain independence. So when she's developmentally capable of putting her toys away, clearing her plate from the table, and dressing herself, let her. Giving a child responsibility is good for her self-esteem (and your sanity!).


2. Pick your battles. Kids can't absorb too many rules without turning off completely. Forget arguing about little stuff like fashion choices and occasional potty language. Focus on the things that really matter -- that means no hitting, rude talk, or lying.


3. Give appropriate praise. Instead of simply saying, "You're great," try to be specific about what your child did to deserve the positive feedback. You might say, "Waiting until I was off the phone to ask for cookies was hard, and I really liked your patience."


4. Gossip about your kid. Fact: What we overhear is far more potent than what we are told directly. Make praise more effective by letting your child "catch" you whispering a compliment about her to Grandma, Dad, or even her Macy.


5. Play with your child. Let her choose the activity, and don't worry about rules. Just go with the flow and have fun. That's the name of the game.


6. Acknowledge your kid's strong emotions. When your child's meltdown is over, ask her, "How did that feel?" and "What do you think would make it better?" Then listen to her. She'll recover from a tantrum more easily if you let her talk it out.


7. Talk about what it means to be a good person. Start early: When you read bedtime stories, for example, ask your toddler whether characters are being mean or nice and explore why.


8. Set up a "gratitude circle" every night at dinner. Go around the table and take turns talking about the various people who were generous and kind to each of you that day. It may sound corny, but it makes everyone feel good.


9. Let Kayden place an order. Once a week, allow her to choose what's for dinner and cook it for her.


10. Savor the moments. Yes, parenthood is the most exhausting job on the planet. Yes, your house is a mess, the laundry's piled up... But your kid just laughed. Enjoy it now...it will be over far too fast.

My 3 personal resolutions...

• Stop saying "in a minute." Whatever I'm doing isn't as important as playing with Kayden...
  
• Don't take my camera every place we go...I love taking pictures and capturing every moment but sometimes it's better to watch life through my own eyes rather than through the lens of my camera...


• Share my beliefs more with Kayden — making religion more important in our family — making it part of our daily life...praying everynight before bed time and before meals as well as reading more faith related books...

I have printed these off and have them hanging up in my house as a reminder of what I need to do so I can be a better parent to Kayden in 2009...